[Comfortablydumb] happy reason to drink day!!!

[hollyh58 at comcast.net]

I liked the one about the winde best.  Perhaps because I'm a wino myself.  I'm celebrating by l istening to Irish punk   The Dropkick Murphys and Flogging Molly are on my i pod.  Sorry I missed Sat. night.  I'm rather broke at the moment saving for my trip to SF.  I'm working thrree jobs today and won't be home to see my own kids til 10 p.m. about the time the 14 yr old goes to bed.

-------------- Original message -------------- 
From: jimmythomas111 at comcast.net 

> 
> > 
> > Flynn staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, 
> > Paddy.. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Mary. He tiptoed as 
> > quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but 
> > misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his 
> > body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each 
> > back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful. Managing not to 
> yell, 
> > Flynn sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see 
> > that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full 
> > box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place 
> he 
> > saw blood. He then hid the now almost empty Ban d-Aid box and shuffled and 
> > stumbled his way to bed. In the morning, Flynn woke up with searing pain in 
> both 
> > his head and butt and Mary staring at him from across the room. She said, 'You 
> > were drunk again last night weren't you?'Flynn said, 'Why do you say such a 
> mean 
> > thing?''Well,' Mary said, 'it could be the open front door, it could be the 
> > broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood 
> > trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but 
> mostly.....it's 
> > all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror. 
> > 
> > 
> > 
> > Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important 
> meeting 
> > and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said, 'Lord take 
> pity 
> > on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the 
> > rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!' Miraculously, a parking place 
> > appeared.Paddy looked up again and said, 'Never mind, I found one.' 
> > 
> 
> > 
> > Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, 
> > 'Do you want to go to heaven?' The man said, 'I do, Father.'The priest said, 
> > 'Then stand over there against the wall.'Then the priest asked the second man, 
> > 'Do you want to go to heaven?''Certainly, Father,' was the man's reply. 'Then 
> > stand over there against the wall,' said the priest.Then Father Murphy walked 
> up 
> > to O'Toole and said, 'Do you want to go to heaven?'O'Toole said, 'No, I don't 
> > Father.' The priest said, 'I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when 
> > you die you don't want t o go to heaven?'O'Toole said, 'Oh, when I die, yes. I 
> > thought you were getting a group together to go right now.' 
> > 
> > 
> > Paddy was in New York ..He was patiently waiting and watching the traffic cop 
> > on a busy street crossing. The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, 
> > 'Okay, pedestrians.' Then he'd allow the traffic to pass.He'd done this 
> several 
> > times, and Paddy still stood on the sidewalk.After the cop had shouted, 
> > 'Pedestrians!' for the tenth time, Paddy went over to him and said, 'Is it not 
> > about time ye let the Catholics across?' 
> > 
> > 
> > Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the 
> > obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend, Finney. 
> > 'Did you see the paper?' asked Gallagher. 'They say I died!!''Yes, I saw it!' 
> > replied Finney. 'Where are ye callin' from?' 
> > 
> > 
> > An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in 
> > Connecticut . The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then 
> > sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, 'Sir, have you 
> been 
> > drinking?''Just water,' says the priest.The trooper says, 'Then why do I smell 
> > wine?'The priest looks at the bottle and says, 'Good Lord! He's done it 
> again!' 
> > 
> > 
> > 
> > Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, 'Pour me a stiff one 
> - 
> > just had another fight with the little woman.' 'Oh yeah?' said Charlie, 'And 
> how 
> > did thi! s one end?''When it was o,' Mike replied, 'She came to me on her 
> hands 
> > and knees.'Really,' said Charles, 'Now that's a switch! What did she say?' She 
> > said, 'Come out from under the bed, you little chicken.' 
> > 
> -jt- 
> 
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